Criticism is an art, but it has to be practiced.
Sharing and receiving feedback is vital. If you have ideas on how someone can improve, don’t hold your ideas back — rather, share your criticism constructively. Others should do it too. This post in School of Life by Sunny Rabius Sunny will discuss giving feedback without making someone feel dumb.
Remember Four things: PIP Sandwich, Hurt, Ass, Rude.
1. Use PIP Feedback Sandwich
Feedback sandwich is often used in Toastmasters and corporate environments.
PIP, Positive-Improvement-Positive.
With this sandwich of Positive-Improve-Positive, your feedback is broken down into 3 segments:
- POSITIVE: Focus on the strengths — what you liked.
- IMPROVEMENT: You provide the criticism — the areas of improvement.
- POSITIVE: You round off the feedback with (a) a reiteration of the positive comments and (b) the positive results that can be expected if the criticism is acted upon.
Here’s an example: you want to comment on some website.
- Positive
- “Great website! I love the overall layout and how user-friendly it is. The overall design is nice and pleasing to the eye, and consistent with your brand. The menu is very accessible and makes it easy to access your site sections. I found the intro video helpful in giving me an overview of what you do.”
- Improvement
- “However, I thought that there are two things that can be better. Firstly, there is a lot of content in the sidebar that clutters up the user experience. Perhaps if the sidebar content can be narrowed down to the key things, it would make it much easier to navigate. Secondly, the font size is too small for me. I found it hard to read as I had to keep squinting.”
- Positive
- “Overall, great work. I love what you’ve done with the design, layout, and intro video. I think if the sidebar clutter can be removed and the font size can be increased, it’d really create a fantastic usage experience for any visitor.”
2. Crafting words respectfully to not hurt the person
Example #1: Giving feedback on a person’s presentation style
- Bad example: “The presentation was really boring. You kept going on and on about ZZZ; it made me want to fall asleep!”
- Good example: [Apply PIP feedback sandwich] “… however, I thought some of the points could be delivered more concisely. For example, the presentation allotted time is 30 minutes but we went over time by about 10 minutes, which is one-third of the intended time. Since there were 5 points, perhaps we could allocate 5 minutes per point, which would take up 25 minutes for 5 points, and then have 5 minutes left for closing? This would create a presentation that’s more well-paced.”
Example #2: Giving feedback on a person’s character trait
- Bad example: “You’re always so negative. It’s so draining to be around you.”
- Good feedback: [Apply PIP feedback sandwich] “… there are times when I was hurt by the comments you made as they were somewhat demeaning. For example, the last time I had a haircut, one of the first things you said was how ugly I looked. That took me by surprise and I felt quite down.”
3. Don’t make assumptions
Do not make assumptions. Not only does it make the person look bad, but it also makes you look bad — especially when your assumption is wrong. As they say, when you assume, you make an “ASS out of U and ME.” Not having a presumptuous attitude will go a long way in any communication, not just in giving criticism.
Example #1 on public speaking:
- Criticism: “The speech was mediocre. The speaker appeared nervous and was not able to lead the audience.”
- The assumption is that the speaker never had any public speaking experience. This is not necessarily true. Seasoned public speakers can be nervous when giving speeches, especially in a new environment. To assume that someone doesn’t have any public speaking experience just because he/she appears nervous is quite pompous.
Example #2 on someone’s behavior:
- Observation: “The new colleague seems to be anxious when around male co-workers. She keeps fidgeting and she’s not able to articulate herself well.”
- The assumption is that the person was brought up in an all-girls environment. This is not necessarily true. Anxiety around the opposite gender can happen to anyone.
4. You are aggressive and rude if you jump right into criticism
You have to let the receiver know that you are not better than them, you are on their side and you are not there to attack them. Otherwise, you may come across as very aggressive and rude if you just jump right into the critique. This is especially true in the Asian culture.
Some people may dislike using the feedback sandwich, or word crafting as they think it’s silly to praise for the sake of it. Some call this personality a people-pleaser. But this is really a sophisticated character trait. The point is not to butter people up. People are often quick to criticize, judge, or even shame, and it downplays what others are doing well and the effort they have put into their work.